By: Abida Qadri
Last year I along my family shifted to a new locale of course with charisma and excitement. We as superintend citizens tried our best to make virtuous correlation with our next door neighbours, and got same response from their side.
As authoritative kinsfolk all of us also ensured not to disclose our cryptic secret, that one of our family members is suffering from depression leading him to insaness. After all it was shame, stigma in an alien neighborhood. What kind of impression of ours would it fabricate in this contemporary society?
Some months passed unvaryingly.
Once while watering plants in my small garden. I heard angry screams coming from neighboring courtyard was unfamiliar to this male voice ,but I was sociable to the lady of the house and her children too,infact I had visited her house couple of ties and she too toured mine few times along her daughter. She is a sober, elegant looking lady in her fifties, working in government sector.
The screaming person is her husband to whom she is married since two and a half decade,(she later told me).his husband was not quarreling with her a normal hubby wife fight ,but he was screaming in an unusual tone and uttering some idiocy. His wife was trying to pacify him and requesting him to go inside the house.
After a day or two I came to know that the said person used work in UAE in late 90’s till early 2000.But due to some personal issues he left the job and started his own business here in Kashmir but failed badly, which led him to depression., and the chronic depression led to mental disorder .Since last fifteen years he lives such a life that he does not want to get up from his bed and at many a times he behaves violently that his own children and wife can’t calm him down.
If we as laymen’s try to make roughly calculations of mental health disorders, in the valley, the precend examples is a pedestal that the situation in a small community (Mohalla) two persons among three families is a victim of the ailment and sickness.
This title of a survey scares me.
Almost half of the population of Kashmir valley is mentally ill.
This survey claims 41% people exhibit symptoms of depression,26% show symptoms of anxiety 19% show post traumatic stress disorders.
An article published by Dr Sheikh Shoib and Dr S M Yasser says that 45% of Kashmiri adult population (1.8M) is suffering from some kind of mental distress. Another study found that 22 to 27 percent of children (aged14to 18 years) are on the verge of mental breakdown, resulting suicidal attempts.
- Jammu and Kashmir has population of around 12.5 million (census 2011) and there are 41 psychiatrists who are mostly affiliated at teaching in hospitals in the cities of Jammu and o Quitting all the calculations lets know what actually good mental health means.
- According to WHO a state of well being in which the individual realizes his /her abilities, can cope with normal stresses of life, can productively and fruitfully contribute to the community is a mentally fit person.
Now let me tell you some stories about sufferings of the persons related to the disordered persons believe me thee are all well to my knowledge.
My sister lost her eyesight as she was consoling her mentally insane husband who was messing up with copper utensils, but unfortunately he threw one of the utensils with sharp edge or something like that to her resulting her eye got injured which was later completely removed off by the doctors as it was damaged badly. The unfortunate woman lost the sight of other eye because of hypertension during this incident too.
Says a woman from district Ganderbal,Namely Mahjabeen.
My mentally insane neighbour came to my house early morning and beat my teenage son, failing to give substantial reason says Gh Rasool of District Baramulla
My Father in law does not eat any meals prepared or even platted by me as he thinks I might mix some kind of poison ,to kill him, says a daughter in law of Pattan area.
The question arises are the caretakers of these insane persons safe??Who might we question for their safety and well being??
For a moment let’s dodge the reasons behind such alarming conditions in our valley. Let’s rediscover the care taking phenomenon of our minds.
An old saying is a healthy body bears a healthy mind.
Before decade or two we as Kashmiris were unaware of gyms, healthy diets, exercises, morning walks, good sleeps etc and now we are aware to some extend we are gaining knowledge of taking care of our bodies. We cannot deny this fact too that most of us start exercising or taking healthy diet after encountering health issues. Our youth are joining the gyms to make their bodies stronger and pleasing .
The query here arises how much we take care of our minds. Isn’t it more inescapable affair we are ignoring?
Our youth on other hand are destroying their minds by taking uncountable drugs and becoming addicted to them.
As responsible humans how often we nurture our minds .How many exercises any of us are practicing for mental health daily.
Do we take care of our intellectual health by balancing, learning new skills, acquiring knowledge to improve our life significantly?
How we decompress from daily pressures of life and stresses?
If we need to overcome our own stress and stop detoitering situations, it is very important to learn new techniques of self-care and regulations to prove quality of the life.
Nowadays lifestyles lead to isolation from people and wallow one’s unique set of issues. Building a solid community of support love and friendship around you will be an essential part of wellness journey.
Apart from this we all know that it is impossible to fulfill all the life’s obligations and take care of yourself as well, setting boundaries between stress and peace. But still we exhaust ourselves to win the never ending race of life. Everyone’s life can’t be a bed of roses some have to struggle a lot, some never gain their targets others fail and fail but we can’t unlove ourselves .Life is precious we cant destroy it by ego, jealousy, complexes .
At last the not least one the social stigma “What people will think”. If a person feels low depressed insane it’s ok it can happen, why to make it an issue of prestige not telling others or feeling ashamed of looking for help from others.
Remember Life is most precious gift of God…there is no comparison of a human well being.
Abida Qadri can be reached at shahaabidaqadri@gmail.com.
