SRINAGAR: ‘Dangal’ fame Zaira Wasim, who will next be seen opposite Priyanka Chopra and Farhan Akhtar in in Shonali Bose’s directorial ‘The Sky is Pink’, took to her Instagram handle to share a 6-page heartfelt note as she completes 5 years in Bollywood.
In her post, she says that even though Bollywood industry has bought a lot of love and support to her but it has also led her to a path of ignorance and she ‘silently and unconsciously transitioned out of imaan.’
She also said that ‘It was only for me to realise that though I may fit here perfectly, I do not belong here’
“Five years ago I made a decision that changed my life forever. As I stepped my foot in Bollywood, it opened doors of massive popularity for me. I started to become the prime candidate of public attention, I was projected as the gospel of the idea of success and was often identified as a role model for the youth.
“However, that’s never something that I set out to do or become, especially with regards to my ideas of success and failure, which I had just started to explore and understand,” Wasim said in the lengthy post.
The 18-year-old actor said as she completed five years in the profession, she wanted to “confess that I am not truly happy with this identity i.e my line of work”.
“For a very long time now it has felt like I have struggled to become someone else. As I had just started to explore and make sense of the things to which I dedicated my time, efforts and emotions and tried to grab hold of a new lifestyle, it was only for me to realise that though I may fit here perfectly, I do not belong here.
“This field indeed brought a lot of love, support, and applause my way, but what it also did was to lead me to a path of ignorance, as I silently and unconsciously transitioned out of ‘imaan’ (faith). While I continued to work in an environment that consistently interfered with my ‘imaan’, my relationship with my religion was threatened,” she said.
In 2018, ‘Dangal’ star Zaira Wasim has opened up about her battle with depression and said she has been suffering from it and severe anxiety “for a very long time”.
The 17-year-old took to social media to share a long note wherein she stated that she was pushed into a “bubble of denial”.
“I’m writing this to (finally) admit and confess that I, for a very long time have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression.”
“It’s almost been four years and I’ve always been embarrassed and scared to admit it not only because of the stigma that goes around with the word depression, but most importantly because of always being told that ‘You’re too young to be depressed’ or ‘It’s just a phase'”.
“I was constantly battling with my soul to reconcile my thoughts and instincts to fix a static picture of my ‘imaan’ and I failed miserably, not just once but a hundred times…
“I kept procrastinating by tricking and deluding my conscience into the idea that I know what I am doing doesn’t feel right but assumed that I will put an end to this whenever the time feels right and I continued to put myself in a vulnerable position where it was always so easy to succumb to the environment that damaged my peace, ‘imaan’ and my relationship with Allah (God),” she said.
Talking about her life as an actor, she said she continued to observe things and twist her perceptions as she wanted them to be, without really understanding that the key was to see them as they were.
“In the great and divine wisdom of the Quran, I found sufficiency and peace. Indeed the hearts find peace when it acquires the knowledge of Its Creator, His Attributes, His Mercy and His commandments,” she added.
Wasim said she began to heavily rely upon Allah’s mercy for help and guidance instead of valuing her own believability.
“I discovered my lack of knowledge of the basic fundamentals of my religion and how my inability to reinforce a change earlier was a result of confusing my heart’s contentment and well being with strengthening and satisfying my own (shallow and worldly) desires,” she said.
The actor, who made her big Bollywood debut opposite superstar Aamir Khan in 2016, said she questioned the deepest sources of her ideas of success, meaning and the purpose of her life.
“The source code that governed and impacted my perceptions evolved into a different dimension. Success isn’t correlated with our biased, delusional and conventional shallow measures of life. Success is the accomplishment of the purpose of our creation. We have forgotten the purpose we were created for as we ignorantly continue to pass through our lives; deceiving our conscience,” she said.
The National Award winner said self loathing, nervous breakdowns, suicidal thoughts, starving, daily dosage of medicines and restlessnes “were all parts of this phase”.
She revealed that her first panic attack was at the age of 12 and another one at 14 and now “all I remember is losing counts of the number of panic attacks, losing counts of the number of medicines I have had and I’m still having.”
The ‘Secret Superstar’ actress further said, “I just need a complete break from everything, my social life, my work, school and especially social media. I’m really looking forward to the holy month of Ramadhan as it may be the perfect opportunity to figure things out. Please remember me in your prayers.”
“Please remember me in your prayers,” wrote Zaira. (PTK)
https://kashmirpatriot.com/2017/06/10/kashmiri-actress-zairas-car-feel-dal-lake-rescued-miraculously/
