By : Amy Morin
Your mind can be your best asset or your biggest enemy, cultivate your thoughts wisely
Accept reality. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement. Instead, it’s about acknowledging what is happening from a realistic standpoint. Digging in your heels and saying, “I shouldn’t have to deal with this,” only wastes your time and energy. Accepting what is happening right now-regardless of whether you think it’s right-is the first step in deciding how to respond.Accepting reality is about recognising what’s within your control. When you can’t control the situation, focus on controlling yourself.
Behave productively. Accepting reality helps you manage your thoughts and regulate your emotions, which are key to productive behaviour. The choices you make when you’re faced with problems determine how quickly you’ll find a solution.
Even when you’re faced with a problem you can’t solve-like the loss of a loved one-you make choices about how to respond. Unproductive behaviour, like complaining or throwing a pity party, will keep you stuck. Those behaviours will rob of mental strength.
So it’s important to ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do right now to help myself?” Whether productive behaviour involves facing a fear, or doing something you really don’t want to do, take action.
Control upsetting thoughts. Your mind can be your best asset or your biggest enemy. If you believe your negative thoughts, your self-limiting beliefs will prevent you from reaching your greatest potential.
Thinking, “This will never work. I’m not good enough,” or, “I can’t stand one more minute of this,” will derail you from your goals. It’s important to recognise when your inner monologue becomes overly pessimistic. Remember that just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a trusted friend. When your thoughts become catastrophic or unhelpful, respond with a more realistic statement that confirms your ability to handle your struggles.
You can even create a mantra that you repeat during tough times. Doing so can help you quiet the negative chatter that threatens to drag you down. Building mental strength is similar to building physical strength. While you may not think about your mental muscle until you need it the most, a crisis isn’t the best time to build mental strength. Similarly, you don’t want to wait until you have to lift a heavy object to start building physical strength, right? Pumping iron for five minutes before you move a couch isn’t going to do you much good. But steadily building strength over time can ensure you have the muscle you need when you have more weight to carry.
Think of mental strength in the same way. There will be times when you’re going to need all the mental strength you can muster. So it’s important to make mental strength training a daily habit. And then, when you find yourself going through tough times, practice the ABC formula. Those three steps will ensure your struggles make you even stronger.
Amy Morin is an author, psychotherapist and internationally recognised expert on mental strength.